The title already says a lot, but I still don’t have this figured out in my life. I am writing this to explain it to myself and perhaps discover the truth. I appreciate your input, since perhaps this is also for you.
I love food and I truly appreciate the people that can prepare great food. My wife Buffy, Chef Jeff, Juan at Le Chene and the gang at 315. They are just a few that take food and drink to an enjoyment level that I truly love. I love dining with friends. The conversations and sharing that goes on. I love to host gatherings and to share my passion for food and wine with our guests. I enjoy the prep with my wife and have no issue with participating in the cleanup. Surely this is good?
Why do I say it is dysfunctional? Because I don’t always make wise choices in food or quantity of food. If one serving was great, certainly the second serving will be even better. If one glass tasted great, well then. Yes I know that wheat can upset my stomach, but bread is so good. Yes I know I want to keep my weight down, but that potato covered in butter and cheese is going to taste really yummy. Do you see my dilemma?
I have been trying to go through the self examination necessary to understand why. I think it is important that I figure it out, but I will be honest with you all. I AM NOT SURE I WANT TO BE CURED. I am a simple man and I have basic needs. Food and drink are two of them. I am not sure poor health (though I currently don’t suffer from that) would be enough to cause me to change. I am comfortable with my dysfunction. I like it.
Here is what I have come up with so far. Let me know if this strikes a note inside any of you. I DESERVE IT!!! The explanation points are not superfluous. They accurately express my point and passion. I deserve that extra serving. I deserve that extra glass. I deserve what I want. Of course with all that, I also deserve the extra weight, the sluggishness and the other side effects. I take responsibility for my actions and the cause and effect of those actions. By the way, I don’t resent or envy the ‘food is fuel’ people out there. I just think they are missing out and should be pitied.
Here are my reasons why I DESERVE IT!!! Life, life and more life.
1) My nature is to take on responsibilities and try to fix messes in life. Not necessarily messes that I have created, so I make efforts to restore order, bring peace and reconciliation. That costs me A LOT! I deserve that glass of wine.
2) I have high standards and require things to work. I prod those responsible to fix it. I pay for it myself to be fixed. I organize things so they can be fixed. I earned those damn french fries.
3) In spite of my altruism, superior organizational skills and great expense / effort, life does not always cooperate. There are bridges I can not mend. There are ills that can not be cured. There are problems that can not be fixed… yet. I can not always control the outcome, but I can sure control that rib eye steak as it goes in my mouth.
This is my struggle. I am not motivated by rewards in heaven. Just give me that pizza now. I am not content to allow things to fall apart in the lives and organizations I support. I can not sit aside and not try to help things. Therefore, I can help myself to that Philly Cheese Steak and craft beer. It my nature that is pitted against itself.
If your answer is “just stop it”, please don’t comment. I appreciate that Bob Newhart skit as much as anyone out there. Misery does love company, so if you understand this dilemma, I would appreciate your comments. For the rest of you, feel free to continue to send me the dinner invitations. All the best.
If this article can be helpful to someone you know, feel free to share it. If you want more info on our nutritional foods program, then call or email Buffy or me. Be well.
*Results may vary (see full disclaimer in the footer).