I had a dream one night. A dream that I had a chance to speak to God. We sat down and I showed him the tapestry of my life. I pointed out each knot. I pointed out the thread bare pieces. I pointed out each loose string. I especially pointed out all the strings that had been cut.
I told God, this knot, this one here is how I had to grow up without a Father. This one is when I lost my job. The other knots are places I had dealt with great suffering. Where were you?
This thread bare section. These are the times of my life I felt empty, useless, powerless and hopeless. Where were you?
These loose strings. This is where my family hurt me the most. This is where my friends betrayed me. This is when my pain was unbearable. Where were you?
Finally, the cut strings. These are the family and friends who’s lives were cut short. I felt so afraid. I felt so much loss. Where were you?
God, you say you love me. Where were you in my life? Why did you allow my life to turn out like this raggedy old tapestry?
God did not get angry at my accusations. He did not defend himself. He just opened my eyes to His truth.
He smiled and said JR, that is not a tapestry you are holding. With that He took it from me and turned it around to show me a beautiful needlepoint. Each stitch done with the perfection of the Masters hand. It was a portrait of my life, more beautiful than I had imagined it ever was. I said, “God, I don’t understand.” He said, “Let me show you.”
Those knots are part of life in a sinful world. I did not put them there, but I watched over you. I was your Father, when your father was not. I gave you that better job. I held you when you cried through your suffering.
Those thread bare areas. I had to move you from where you were, to a better place. You were not listening to me, but I was still watching over you. You needed to get closer to Me, but you were too far away to hear Me. I moved you, to save you, to protect you and because I love you.
The loose strings are the part of your life that I wanted to spare you from. I could not, because I will not violate the will of those people that hurt you. It was their choice to pull away from Me, and thereby making those loose strings. They will hang there until they turn to me or I cut them off.
Finally, the strings that were cut. Some of them meant you great harm. I cut them out of your life because they would have hurt you deeper than you could have handled. That sort of pain you could not have dealt with. Some of them I took home to be with me. They had done their job in your life and I brought them home for their reward.
I had no words. How can you? I was looking into the face of the One that truly loves me, even after I had accused Him of so much evil. I cried. He held me. He told me, “I have loved you before you were born. I will love you all the days of your life and when you finally come home, Dude we are gonna party!” Yes… God actually says the word Dude. Be well.